10 Thanksgiving Hot Takes That’ll Get You Uninvited

🔥 1. Turkey is Just a Dry, Nervous Chicken in a Bigger Suit

Like...we all know we’re eating it out of tradition, not passion. The bird is mid-tier at best unless it's deep-fried, and even then? You’re just covering up its personality with crunch.

🥧 2. Pumpkin Pie is a Texture Crime

It's like eating cinnamon-scented Play-Doh. If I wanted mush in a crust, I’d just eat baby food with a graham cracker.

🥔 3. Mashed Potatoes Are Overrated—and No, I Don’t Want Garlic in Them Either

They’re fine. Not elite. And why are they always the star of everyone's plate like they invented carbohydrates?

🍞 4. Stuffing Should Not Be Inside Anything's Body

Who decided to cram bread into a turkey cavity and call it fine dining? It's literally stale bread with drama.

🧃 5. Cranberry Sauce is a Dessert Cosplaying as a Side Dish

Whether it’s jiggly from a can or lovingly homemade, it still tastes like a fruit trying too hard to get invited to dinner.

🧤 6. You Don’t Need to Dress Up to Eat at Home

It’s your cousin’s living room, not the Met Gala. Let me wear my sweatpants in peace, Debra.

📺 7. Football Isn’t a Personality Trait

It’s fine to watch the game, but maybe let other people use the TV too? Not everyone wants 8 hours of "Men Yelling Near Grass."

🍽️ 8. Potluck Thanksgiving is Superior to One-Person-Cooks-All Chaos

Let everyone bring a dish! Aunt Linda can still bring her infamous weird Jell-O salad—it builds character. And alibis.

⏰ 9. We Don’t Need to Eat at 3PM

Pick lunch or dinner. Not this weird in-between food limbo where nobody knows whether to have breakfast or not.

👨‍👩‍👧 10. Just Because We're Related Doesn’t Mean I Want to Talk Politics Over Gravy

Can we skip the annual "argue over the stuffing" debate and talk about literally anything else? Like squirrels in sweaters or niche pasta shapes?

Want to really make things interesting? Try casually dropping one of these mid-bite and watch the room pause like a turkey saw its own shadow. 😏

Got a crowd-pleaser uncle? Number 6 will knock him off his socks and seasonal loafers. Want to get disinvited next year? Number 1 + 2 combo, baby.

🦃✨ Pass the drama. And the pie.