🐾 13 Reasons Garfield Was Absolutely, Unapologetically Right About Mondays (And Life) 🐾
—A tribute to a cat who hated effort and loved snacks, aka: our fluffy, cynical spirit guide—
💤 Monday is just Tuesday in a wig.
Garfield knew that Monday wasn’t just the first day of the week—it was the imposter of hope, parading in with fake promises of productivity and stealing our weekend joy like a raccoon in a trench coat.🍝 Lasagna > Life Goals.
Who needs “ambition” when you have perfectly layered pasta sheets and melted cheese? Garfield understood that lasagna is not just food—it’s a lifestyle choice.🪑 He never trusted chairs with purpose.
Office chairs? Evil. Dining chairs? Suspicious. Nap chairs? Sacred. Garfield’s ability to identify a true lounging throne was unparalleled. Ergonomics? Nah. He went full horizontal soul recline.📅 He treated calendars like personal insults.
“Schedule? Don’t know her.” Garfield saw to-do lists and meetings the way most cats see bathtubs: untrustworthy voids designed to ruin the vibe.🐾 He refused to fetch, hustle, or even acknowledge gravity.
While others were out here “grinding” and “crushing goals,” Garfield was pioneering the revolutionary act of horizontal protest naps. A true flat icon.🧦 He weaponized sarcasm like a fuzzy philosopher.
If Nietzsche had whiskers and a food bowl, he might’ve said, “God is dead and Jon needs a hobby.” Garfield just said it with more sass and fewer syllables.👨🌾 He knew Jon Arbuckle was all of us.
Perpetually awkward. Chronically hopeful. Weirdly obsessed with breakfast foods. Jon was the perfect foil for Garfield’s chaos—and also a cautionary tale for those who dare to wear socks with sandals.🌕 He probably invented retrograde moods.
Mercury’s in lasagna, baby. That’s why everything’s weird. Garfield didn’t need astrology apps—he was the cosmic moodboard.🦥 He normalized doing absolutely nothing.
And not just “nothing” in a lazy way. Nothing in an artful, choreographed, deeply intentional way. The kind of nothing that says, “I’m busy, I’m brooding about ceiling corners.”🐟 He never respected diets, and that was powerful.
When society said “kale,” Garfield said “tuna tower dipped in crème brûlée.” He was body neutral before it was cool and spoon-positive to the core.🎩 He dressed up only when it was absurd.
Top hats for no reason. Pirate costumes for indoor protests. Garfield proved fashion should be chaotic, cozy, and cat-approved. Crochet capes, unite!🚪 He hated Mondays like they owed him rent.
And honestly? They kind of do. Mondays crash into our lives, break our routines, eat our leftovers, and call it “a fresh start.” Rude.✨ He was the original self-care icon.
Garfield didn’t just advocate naps—he weaponized them. He knew boundaries (mostly snack-related), practiced radical self-love (aka mirror admiration), and rejected hustle culture before it had a name.
