🌌 11 Star Wars Characters Ranked by Likelihood to Ghost You 👻✨
Subtitle: They said “May the Force be with you,” but apparently not with your texts.
In honor of "Star Wars Day" (yes, it's real, and yes, we're celebrating with heavy breathing and emotional detachment), here is the OFFICIAL* (*absolutely not official) list of Star Wars characters ranked by how likely they are to leave your message on “Read” and vanish like Alderaan.
1. Yoda 🧓🌿 – 99% Likely
Respond, he will not. Seen your text, he has. But reply? Hmmmm. Three years later you’ll get a voicemail that just says, “Patience, you must have.” Thanks, leafy raisin.
2. Darth Vader 🖤🫁 – 95% Likely
If your message isn’t urgent, he’s force-choking someone and emotionally unavailable. Also doesn’t text with gloves on. Might leave you on read just to maintain dramatic tension.
3. Boba Fett 🧍♂️💥 – 93% Likely
You think you’re dating, he thinks you’re a bounty. You make brunch plans, he disappears into a Sarlacc pit for a decade. Classic Boba.
4. Kylo Ren 🖤🦇 – 88% Likely
He starts to text back (“u up?”), then smashes his communicator into a wall. Might ghost you mid-conversation because he’s brooding in a cape closet.
5. Obi-Wan Kenobi 🌞👻 – 82% Likely
Literally a ghost at this point. Also, his idea of “going to get space milk” is moving to Tatooine for 19 years. Could respond... from a certain point of view.
6. Lando Calrissian 💋🎲 – 65% Likely
He texts back—but only with a wink and a gif of himself. Did he ghost you or charm-evaporate into a cloud of suave? Who knows.
7. Chewbacca 🐻🎤 – 42% Likely
Always means to reply. Accidentally eats his communicator. Sends long emotional messages entirely in Wookiee that your translator app refuses to decode.
8. Luke Skywalker 💫🥛 – 35% Likely
At first he’s all in—but then he runs off to drink blue milk and stare wistfully at suns. Might text back in six months with Jedi philosophy and zero punctuation.
9. Rey 🌌🪶 – 22% Likely
A surprisingly great texter. Uses proper grammar. Includes space emojis. Only likely to ghost you if she's too busy trying to figure out her ancestry… again.
10. R2-D2 🤖📱 – 5% Likely
BEST texter. Responds instantly with gifs, maps, sassy beeps, and encrypted emojis. Occasionally rolls over your foot in affection.
11. Jar Jar Binks 🐸📢 – 0% Likely
Never ghosts. Never stops texting. You now have 73 messages that just say “Meesa miss you!! 😘🥴🐠” in increasing volume.
Bonus: Emperor Palpatine ⚡️🪑 – Undefined%
You think he ghosted you. You move on. Ten years later: “It was I who blocked you. I have been watching your Snapchats for years.”
Why. Is. He. Like. This.
💫 Got ghosted by a Sith? Or maybe you matched with an Ewok who won’t stop sending you pictures of sticks? Tell us your Star Wars Situationships below! ⬇️🪐
#CelebrateQuirky #MayTheGhostBeWithYou #GalacticRedFlags
