🔒 10 Life Audit Questions I’m Avoiding Until Further Notice

1. Am I actually resting, or just doom-scrolling in sweatpants?
   (And yes, both can be true. But one involves more thumb cramps.)

2. When was the last time I went to the dentist?
   Follow-up question: Do I want to know?

3. Do I spend money according to my values…or vibes?
   Spoiler: My values don’t include $11 lavender lattes and late-night alpaca-themed impulse buys.

4. Is this job fulfilling, or am I just really good at dissociating at meetings?
   Asking for the 27 open tabs and 1,000-yard stare.

5. How many unread texts/emails do I have, and why does that number feel like a personal attack?
   It's not inbox zero—it's inbox denial.

6. Have I actually processed that thing, or did I just slap a sarcastic meme on it and call it growth?
   Emotional Band-Aid: now in “lol I'm fine” print.

7. Why do I keep saying “I don’t have time,” yet I know the full backstory of every contestant on a baking show from 2014?
   It’s called priorities. Or avoidance. Tomato/tomato.

8. Am I building the life I want, or just staying busy enough to not think about it?
   Oops, accidentally built a hamster wheel instead of a dream life. Classic mix-up.

9. Is my self-care actually caring or just marketing-approved escapism with fancy candles?
   No hate to candles. But they can’t fix your avoidance issues. (They can smell like bergamot, though.)

10. What would 10-year-old me think of my current life?
    And do I owe them a heartfelt apology or just an awkward shrug and a juice box?

Needless to say, these questions are safely locked in a mental filing cabinet labeled “DO NOT OPEN WITHOUT SNACKS & EMOTIONAL SUPPORT” 🗃️🥨💖